You Have Permission To Opt Out
I STOPPED A CHECK TO A CHURCH
When I moved to Nashville the stirrings of my spiritual longing had begun. So, I went with what I knew. Church. And after the captivating song and dance came the offering plate where I plopped down a mighty check as gratitude for my signing bonus and new move. And then the sermon began and my mouth dropped open from the message and as I looked around in horror all I saw were nodding heads in agreement. The booming voice on the pulpit was preaching how the growing acceptance of homosexuality was a sign of the end of times and was ruining the world as we know it. I seriously had no idea that people believed something so dark and evil and it was being preached in the house of God? This was not the God I knew. I stood up in the middle of the service. Walked down the aisle, cried all the way home until I pulled it together to call my bank and put a stop to my check. “Yes Ma'am, that is correct. I want you to put a stop on my check to Brentwood Baptist.” I’m opting out.
EX VEGAN. PRESENT BACON LOVER.
I had healed my health, lost weight and built a solid following promoting a plant based diet. I did this 15 years ago way before it was cool and while living in the south. I just couldn't make the low fat, point counting, packaged and processed diet food work for me and when being a vegan did it became my religion. It was interlaced into all of my belief systems creating a powerful identity around my spirituality, how to heal the planet and what people should be eating for true health. And it was awesome… until it wasn’t. When I couldn’t keep some of my nutrient levels up regardless of the supplements I was taking and I still needed to carry and nurse my babies - I had to opt out. Real world health beats nutritional dogma every.single.damn.day regardless of the side you are on.
KIDS WILL BE KIDS. NOT ADULTS IN SMALL BODIES.
We moved into our neighborhood with the intention that our kiddos would get to go the elite elementary school all the locals just rave about. During kindergarten readiness the principal promoted that most kids are testing two grades above, they have the best gifted and talented program where they take the extra smart kids and put them in their own accelerated classroom and add on lots of after school programs because everyone knows that this sets the track to the rest of their life and if you want them to be accepted into the best colleges you really have to start now. In kindergarten. And you want them to rise up to their potential - right? Cause really - anything less than ivy league means you failed as a parent.
So when our daughter was still crying every morning 6 months later that she didn’t want to go we started to wonder. And then we started to pay more attention to the moms on the block talking about their first graders having night terrors about passing tests. And another Mom's second grader is seeing a therapist about their anxiety because they are being made fun of for being different and dumb and not as smart as the other kids.
Not to mention the terrifying fact that the national suicide rate for pre-teens has doubled in the last ten years. Maybe childhood should still be about the being a child and not testing and competition and getting ahead of the Joneses - I’m not buying in and in fact - we are opting the fuck out.
BIGGER IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER
Every year Papi and I sit down and independently write out the top 5 priorities for our family and reconcile them to make sure we are on the same page. And then we do things like quit jobs, change careers, trade chores, upgrade diets, get creative on self care to make sure we are meeting our priorities for our fab five. This means that some years we have said - not right now to new cars, fancy vacations, bigger houses or new wardrobes. Opt out of someone else’s ideas of what your life should look like. Not always sexy on social media reels but hot and steamy behind closed doors.
YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO OPT OUT
So, My Love. All this is to say that it is not always easy to swim against the current of culture or the traditions of your tribe but when you listen to your heart and move into the flow of what is right for your life -- opting out becomes the catalyst to magic.
Write To Me. Tell Me.
What are you opting out on?
You are not in this alone. XO Kat